Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'm a low--ri--der...

Well, I survived my 3 hour clinic appointment: a PFT (pulmonary function test), two separate blood draws (yep, that didn't work out so well), visit with endocrinologist, visit with study coordinator (didn't qualify for any), a bone density scan, and visit with CF doc. Whew! My FEV1 (forced expiratory volume in one second) was 31% which wasn't bad but wasn't good. I didn't technically lose any ground but I'm also still on 60 mg of prednisone so I was hoping for a higher score with 'roids on board. Guess not.

Gratefully, Dr. S thought I sounded MUCH better than the day I was admitted and agreed the IV's could cease and desist. I didn't even have to lobby too hard. So this morning I finished my last dose and pulled the needle. It always feels amazing to get the dressing off and be able to shower without plastic wrap and a mile of incredibly sticky tape. I get to start on oral Zyvox tomorrow for the MRSA control so there is no rest for the yeast control efforts but oh well. If anyone has found anything to be effective in that department, I'd love any new ideas to try.

Yesterday I brought along my meds hoping that I'd actually be home before I needed to start them however. But by the time I was done with the appointment, I was already an hour behind. So I zipped out to my Beetle and began to set up an IV drip line. Yep, using my best sterile technique efforts and a mangled wire hanger, I managed to turn my VW into a mobile medicine delivery system. I was so proud. Too proud.

It was already after 4 and I hadn't had any food since breakfast. Should have thought of that before starting the IV, right? Well, I decided maybe I could do a drive-thru and not have to walk into a food establishment holding a deranged metal hanger above my head. Yeah, good plan. So I'm off down the road to Good Times for a burger and Spoonbender. I am now in a huge time crunch. But I decide at this point to sit in the parking lot and eat to be less of a traffic hazard; since yes, now I'm officially in the time of day to be a part of the Denver rush hour traffic scene. Not for the faint of heart let alone hands full of food and one eye on a slow and steady drip.

I must make mention here that I am also not in my preferred driving mode which is preferably above the steering wheel. In order to get enough gravity distance to get a steady drip, I had to ratchet down the seat to a depth I didn't know it even possessed. I looked like one of those scary little old ladies who can barely see over the dashboard. Yikes.

I'm on the road again trying to decide which of two possible routes would take the least amount of time and which merge did I want to sit in when I thought to take a look at my gas tank. Oh joy. I am one blip above my red bar of doom. When my car beeps a warning at the top of the red bar, my gas tank level drops like a rock. Well, now I have two choices: I can either stop at the next available station and figure out how to pump gas while doing my keep-hanger-above-head act, or I can test my luck and pray that I-25 is not a parking lot and I can get through the worst of the heavy traffic before I have to stop to change out the IV for round two at another gas station. I opt for plan b--go for it.

I must mention here that my little Vortex blue Beetle has been having a couple of issues lately, one of those problems being the blinker system. The blinkers are totally possessed. They will blink once or twice then either stop outright or do this Tourette-like stutter and then go bonkers. Usually it makes me giggle but its not exactly what you want blinkers to be doing while attempting numerous lane changes at high speed with bumper to bumper traffic.

At this point, my situation feels rather ridiculous--I'm kinda laughing on the inside but I'm also wiping sweaty palms on my pants from the stress. I'm doing drugs, looking like a low rider, being barely able to see out, having not enough gas, signaling like a spaz. Do I get street cred for this?

Happy to report I was actually near an exit about half-way home from Denver when my low gas signal buzzed and my drip came to a close. Couldn't have planned it better if I had tried (I guess I actually did try, didn't I?) Set up my second IV which was a nice, discreet pressurized ball. Filled the tank. Made it home with ten minutes to spare before my next meeting. Gotta love it.


  1. You are amazing!! Wonder Woman!! :)

  2. I love the way you write - I can see it all and it is glorious! Love you